‘I’m Single and Not Ready to Mingle’

‘I'm Single and Not Ready to Mingle’

I hardly ever ever agree with or relate to Kim Kardashian, however on this blessed Friday, to her I say, “Amen, sister.”

On Thursday evening’s premiere of Season 3 of The Kardashians on Hulu, the eldest Kardashian lastly lets us in on the demise of her relationship with Pete “Girls Love Me” Davidson, in addition to her present courting standing: “I’m single. And never able to mingle, and that’s OK,” she says in a confessional. I, too, am single and never able to mingle, and thus have developed a superficial kinship with Kimberly. Congratulations to the pair of us.

As you’ll recall, Kim’s nine-month fling with 29-year-old Bupkis was her first main, public relationship since she and Kanye West divorced on the finish of 2020—to not point out that the paparazzi and all 35 of Davidson’s ex-girlfriends had a subject day over their relationship. However in a dialog with Scott “The Lord” Disick, Kim revealed how issues between her and the SNL star lastly fizzled out.

“Breakups are usually not my factor,” she stated. “[Pete and I] simply had talks and talks. We had been speaking about it. It was simply each of us speaking very well about it. It’s clearly unhappy.”

You heard it right here first: Breakup talks, speaking about breakups, speaking very well, unhappy. Very detailed, Kim, thanks for clearing that up for us. Later, in a confessional, Kim went on to vent about being a single mom.

“I trip in my emotions generally, like, who’s ever going to need to date me? I’ve 4 children. I’m in my 40s. Oh, my God, who’s going to need to take care of the dramz,” she stated. “However my individual will likely be like, ‘Fuck all of that. It’s going to be laborious, however we’re collectively’…So I’m simply ready for that individual.”

I get that courting whenever you’re a twice-divorced single mom might be going to be much more troublesome than courting whenever you’re a twenty-something with a commonly shaven dolphin physique (though, who am I kidding, Kim undoubtedly has a dolphin physique, too)—however a fast reminder to Kim that not solely are you a billionaire and profitable enterprise proprietor, however your physique has been engineered to hypnotize the male gaze, and also you’ve received make-up artists up the asshole to color on siren eyes each day. YOU’RE GONNA BE OK, my woman.